Ben Sommer - america'd

The breakfast of champions. Growing up, the neighbor would kick her 8 year old boy "out da doh!" and over to my house to play - always reeking of the stuff.

Destroyer of dreams, vortex of time and energy. You can never have just one!

In america, common sense would be mocked by health warnings and disclaimers emblazoned on all chocolate products.

Lookey heah - I see OJ and he look betty betty upset!

In america we recycled by pummeling underfoot all the goose droppings left on the playing fields.

The mid-morning snack of champions. Righteous propoganda and naps to follow.

Carbon flowed through our veins and made us who we are. In a way we were taught to hate ourselves, to be self-hating organisms.

Murder became unequivacally "the right thing to do" when the babies took over.

The mid 2030s saw the crossbreeding of porcupines and homos. Sapiens, that is.

Verwerten wieder, Scheißkerl!

Adult Children: / lyrics

Adult Children

we live on styrofoam and plastic
and gasoline up to the gills
but when petroleum gets costly
we petition capitol hill

we join the union when we're eighteen
and sleep away half of the day
but with the Chinese exporting
we toss our hands up and complain

ichi-kichi-kichi-coo waa-waa
ichi-kichi-kichi-ca waa-waa
I wanna bottle and a diaper
don't wanna face up to the real world
boo-hoo

we're eating hamburgers and frosties
and jelly donuts, too
and if we get a little hefty
we're gonna lawyer up and sue

we get all sniffly and weepy
with post traumatic stress nerves
we call the therapist, pleading
to kiss the booboo where it hurts

ichi-kichi-kichi-coo waa-waa
ichi-kichi-kichi-ca waa-waa
I wanna pluggles and a lamby
singing the baby's blues boo-hoo

I'm going down, going down, going down, going down
into the repressed memories of my childhood
my daddy can't make me rake the leaves
I wanna play my nintendo!
I wanna juice box!
no no, daddy, no!

we are the latest generation
of happy indolent youth
we got a house, wife and children
but sucking binkies till we're blue

ichi-kichi-kichi-coo waa-waa
ichi-kichi-kichi-ca waa-waa
I wanna bottle and a blankie
don't wanna grow up like you

ichi-kichi-kichi-coo waa-waa
ichi-kichi-kichi-ca waa-waa
I wanna bottle and a diaper
don't wanna face up to the real world

Ben Sommer: voices, guitars, bass; George Arsenault: drums

Pre-lunch appetizer of champions. The Midi-chlorians lived within the beef, imparting their energy to whoever consumed it.

Absolutely fundamentalist!

Everyone knows the architects in Las Vegas were taught by aliens.

Father of early modern theory of american nations. Greta Garbo claimed he was a great lay.

What happens when you fail to recycle.

Speekie Engrish: / score / lyrics

Speekie Engrish

I went out to buy a tank of gasoline
Guy named mustafa, his service truly was obscene
Had bushy eyebrows and bushy beard and yet it seemed
That he could not speekie engrish

Hhe came over the border back in '93
The Clinton Wshitehouse was offering him amnesty
But then the shoe dropped and immigration policy said:
"Go home Pakistani"

Will you speak english, please?

Andrazii? speekie speekie engrish?
Hey little man, how you gonna hear this?
You're showin' up on everybody's shit list
How come you don't speekie any engrish?

In the hallowed halls of the academy
They're keeping busy re-writing history
All those dead white men ain't what they used to be
Cause they all spoke perfect english

The university director of diversity
Could not appreciate his circumstance of irony
He was sending out illiterates with PhDs
And they only spoke ebonics

Spizzle englizzle? Speekie speekie Engrish?
Hey little man, how you gonna hear this?
You're showin' up on everybody's shit list
How come you don't speekie any engrish?

They're drilling oil, we're standing in it waist-deep
In foreign lands they're slaving in the hot heat
To bring us gap and hilfiger and nike
You bet they wished they spoke a little english

There was the Irish, the Germans, then the Cantonese
Later they flourished in business with uncommon ease
The only difference was that they learned their ABCs

An bhfuil Béarla agat?
Babbeln sie? sprechen sie englisch?
Nei sik msik gong ying man?
Maybe we'll just say it all in english

Hey ya, hey ya, speekie speekie engrish?
Hey little man, how you gonna hear this?
You're showin' up on everybody's shit list
How come you don't speekie any engrish?

Ben Sommer: voices, guitars, bass; George Arsenault: drums